Ganondwarf!
by Zeldafan422
Summary: The King of Evil has turned two inches tall, and must save Hyrule with his fairy Ivan. Takes place right after Ocarina of Time. [Mild Violence] [Use of Alcohol]
1. Chapter One: Repetitive Stuff

_Author's Note: I don't own Ganondorf or anything Legend of Zelda. Nintendo does. Oh, and in later chapters I will have the characters do the disclaimer as usual. On the topic of updates..I will try to let there be a new chapter every day, if the stupid computer lets me upload documents. Happy reading!_

_Without any further disclaimers or author's notes, or anything else like that I normally would do, here is Chapter One of Ganondwarf! R&R!_

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**Prologue:** _Okay, you all know the story. The story of the Ocarina of Time. Link grows up and fights (and defeats) the Gerudo named Ganondorf. Princess Zelda and the six sages sealed him away in the Dark World (or Sacred Realm or whatever) and trap him forever...or so they thought..._ **

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Chapter One: Repetitive Stuff**

Ganondorf was floating endlessly through the Dark World. He was really really bored. The poor guy had only wanted to rule the world in absolute evil, and he got an incredibly harsh punishment for what he did. Alright, he sort of deserved it. ONLY SORT OF. Alright, he really, really, deserved it. But still, it was as bad as punishment can get. Floating through the crappy Dark World for all of eternity had to get someone bored, and frustrated with life itself. Who could blame the guy? You would be extremely annoyed too.

"Man this SUCKS!" he screamed and began punching and kicking the walls of the Dark World with his gloves and boots. Madly, he kept attacking over and over again, and his attacks seemed to have no effect. He wouldn't stop, because he had become so desperate and would do absolutely anything to get out of the accursed Dark World of old. _Please, _he thought to no one in particular. _Just let me out of here. I promise I won't try to take over the world again. Wait..never mind. I can't keep that promise. _He began to cry silently to himself, and considered to stop punching and kicking.

Until the walls cracked and opened up...

"AHHHHHHHH!" the evil man screamed and landed headfirst in the Temple of Time. It was a very hard white marble floor, and his head was aching really bad.

"Oh my freakin' head!" he screamed until he noticed the surroundings, which oddly enough were surrounding him. "Woah, I just noticed the surroundings surrounding me, I'm in the Temple of Time! Haha stupid sages, your seal was futile, because now I find myself in the surroundings that surround me! And in the surroundings that surround me-" Enough! What the heck is wrong with that guy? Yeah they're surroundings, but you don't have to use the same words over and over again. I will sum up the next few days, because they become more increasingly boring, because Ganondorf is being an idiot.

Ganondorf kept talking about surroundings for several more days, and then finally left the Temple of Time out into Hyrule Market. It was nothing like the last time he saw it. What he had done to it was destroyed all of the buildings, put in a bunch of Re-Deads so that he could be in his floating citadel in peace, and made the sky darker. He had to make the sky darker. It seemed very evil and dramatic. But today it was a normal market, bustling with all sorts of people.

"YES!" the Gerudo screamed and began cheering madly. "NOW I CAN TAKE OVER HYRULE, AND BECOME ULTIMATE RULER OVER IT'S SURROUNDINGS! And now to attack the pathetic innocent citizens!" Err..shut up with the whole surroundings thing.He punched the air, trying to let out a ball of energy. But it didn't come. He tried again and punched as hard as he could into the air, trying to grab onto the magic. Nothing came.

"WHAT?" Ganondorf yelled, and began receiving many strange looks from people walking by, as he continued to randomly punch the air."The sages must have stripped me of my powers once they sealed me into the Dark World. Oh well, I can still be evil!"

The insane Gerudo began running around Hyrule Market, overturning stands, and making inappropiate faces at people. He tripped an old man and then laughed at him for a good, few minutes. After that, he began to loiter inside the Bombchu Bowling Alley, because loitering was not allowed.

"HAHAHA!" he yelled. "It is good to be evil once again! Even though this does not compare to ruling Hyrule, it still makes me feel great!" He was about to steal candy from a little boy, when Rauru and the sages ran out of the Temple of Time, and came up to him angrily.

"I guess we can't keep you in the Dark World," the chubriffic sage stated. "But we can keep you from harming the pathetic innocent citizens."

The sages drew around in a circle, and said some words in the ancient Hylian language, then zapped Ganondorf with all their might. The Gerudo blacked out.

When he woke up, he looked and saw what appeared to be a giant bug.  
"OH MY GOSH!" Ganondorf yelled. "The sages must have maken a giant ant monster to destroy me! STAY BACK!" He began to back away, but tripped and fell on his butt.

"What are you talking about?" the ant said like Ganondorf was some crazy freak, which he kinda was. "Oh you mean those people in robes? Yeah, about a half hour ago, they shrunk you down to our size!"

Ganondorf looked down at his body, and realized he was approximately two inches tall.

"NOOO!" he screamed.

**End Chapter One**

_So, do you like it so far? Is it any good? Please R&R! It's only short because it's the first chapter._


	2. Chapter Two: Hero of Time VS A Bug

Ganondorf: Zeldafan422 owns nothing you fools!

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**Chapter Two: Hero of Time VS. A Bug**

Ganondorf could not believe what happened, but he was beginning to think of many evil and sinister plans. It was very hard with his very small brain.  
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha," Ganondorf gasped for breath and then continued to laugh maniacaly about pretty much nothing. Seriously, he did. He wouldn'tstop laughing, and everyone looked at the little man who was laughing like an absolute idiot. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" He fell down and his face turned all blue from laughing. As he continued to laugh his face turned bluer, and bluer until he finally passed out.

Once he recovered from his, um, loss of oxygen, he began reciting his plan to himself. "Skirt Boy will never see me coming!" he laughed to himself, but made sure to not laugh anymore."I will sneak up unnoticed, and then, I WILL STRIKE! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! But before that, I have some important matters to take care of!" He walked over to a TV and began watching college football for four hours straight. Hey, at least he didn't do that one thing where he kept laughing and laughing until he lost consciousness.

As he was watching football, a guy got hurt really bad and had to be taken out of the game.Whenhe was walking out of the stadium, he was clutching his ankle in pain."Hahahahaha," Ganondorf began laughing. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" The crazed Gerudo fainted and the ants rushed him to the hospital for CPR. It's hard to stay out of the hospital from laughing maniacally when you are the King of Evil.

After he got out, it was time for buisness. Ganondorf headed to Kokiri Forest and saw Link and Navi the fairy walking along. To no one's surprise, the fairy was talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. Sorry, dont' want to make the same mistake I did with the surroundings. So where were we? Oh yeah. Navi was screaming at the top of her lungs and all of the Kokiri was glaring at Link angrily.

"HEY HEY LOOK LOOK WATCH OUT LISTEN!" Navi was yelling. "I LIKE TACOS! WANNA SMELL MY FEET? WHAT DID YOU EAT FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT? LOOK A TREE, AND THERE'S A BUTTERFLY ON THE TREE, THE BIRDS ARE SINGING THE CRICKETS ARE MAKING UM CRICKET NOISES WHAT IS THAT CALLED LINK..? OH YEAH CHIRPING. THE BIRDS ARE SINGING THE CRICKETS ARE CHIRPING YAY LINK I REMEMBERED A WORD AND THAT PARTICULAR WORD WAS CHIRPING AND THAT PARTICLUAR WORD AWAS A VERB. LOOK A FLOWER LINK SMELL THE FLOWER IT SMELLS LIKE MY FEET DO YOU SEE THAT CLOUD ABOVE DEATH MOUNTAIN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY YOUR IRON BOOTS I USED THE MASTER SWORD TO UNCLOG MY TOILET AND I DIDN'T CLEAN IT AFTERWARDS I'M SORRY LINK BUT I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE. LOOK THERE'S A FROG HOPPING FROGGY HOPPING FROGGY HOPPING FROGGY HOPPING LET'S GO SLEDDING ON YOUR MIRROR SHIELD. OH WAIT I DID THATYESTERDAY AND THEN I CRASHLANDED AND PUT A HUGE DENT ON IT AND THEN BLAMED SARIA FOR IT. PASKETTI IS LIKE PEOPLE'S BRAINS ONE TIME I PICKED MY NOSE AND POKED MY BRAIN WHICH IS IN FACT NOT VERY BIG AND IT FELT LIKE PASKETTI AND IT FELT WEIRD. DO YOU LIKE PEANUT BUTTER I LIKE PEANUT BUTTER IT'S SO GOOD I FEEL LIKE EATING PEANUT BUTTER SO YOU SHOULD LIKE PEANUT BUTTER TOO BECAUSE I LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM? I LIKE ICE CREAM I FEEL LIKE EATING ICE CREAM DO YOU LIKE-" Navi kept saying random and obnoxious things until Link pulled out the slingshot and shot her all the way to Lake Hylia. Of course he was mad, Navi keptusing all of his thingsfor her own personal enjoyment.(She'll be back at the end of the story, don't worry. Well..on the other hand, worry.)

"Now's my chance!" Ganondorf said, and ran over to Link. He jumped up on top of his left boot and began screaming maniacally, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," he stopped and gasped for more air then continued, "I HAVE YOU NOW! YOU MAY BE THE HERO OF TIME BUT I AM THE HERO OF CRIME NOW I SHALL PILEDRIVE YOU UNTIL YOU ARE NO MORE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He paused once more to take a breath.

Link looked down at the little speck, to see that it was his arch nemesis, Ganondorf King of Evil, laughing at him and kicking his shin. Of course, it really didn't hurt because Ganondorf's legs were only a few centimeters long. Link tried to stay serious and take care of buisness, but it was just too hard.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Link began laughing so hard just as Ganondorf had been before. The Gerudo got really sad and began to cry, but realized he was winning the fight. Link was laughing WAY TOO HARD and fell down on the floor tears rolling down his cheeks. But eventually his face turned blue and he blacked out. Ganondorf realized that was what happened to him before, and now it was happening to his enemy. Hooray for irony.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Ganondorf stopped really fast to make sure he didn't stop breathing again. "Now that he is out of my way, I will go to the Lost Woods, and conquer- um, stuff, yes, that's it! Then I will become the King of Forest, and rule over forest stuff! HAHAHA! NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!"

**End Chapter Two**

_R&R!_


	3. Chapter Three: Gonna Fly Now

_Author's Note: This chapter contains the Rocky Theme. Yay Rocky!

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__Saria: The author does not own anything. But he is secretly planning to steal the rights to The Legend of Zelda from Nintendo._

_Zeldafan422: No I'm not!_

_Saria: The author is currently covering himself with peanut butter._

_Zeldafan422: Ugh...just read the chapter._

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**Chapter Three: Gonna Fly Now **(Yeah, the Rocky Theme. No it's not a boxing match.) 

The last time we left our "hero", he had just beaten his ultimate enemy Link, and his fairy too. Now we are looking at him and he is jogging through the Lost Woods like a boxer, wearing an old grey and ripped up sweatshirt and the Rocky theme is beginning to play. Yeah, you know what is coming up next. Well, probably not. This is the Ganondwarf story and it's written by me, so whatever comes next is probably what you least expected. I don't know, just read it.

He begins to quicken his pace as he runs farther. (Ganon's sweatin' blood now! Training hard now! da da da da da da da da da da da da da da DA DA! All right, now that's annoying.) He is running really fast and a Stalfos tosses him a fruit, and gives him a thumbs up. He sprints through the Sacred Forest meadow and is taking the stairs seven at a time. Once he reaches the top he begins doing a victory dance. (GONNA FLY NOW! DA DA, DA DA DA DA GONNA FLY NOW! BA BA BA BA BA BA GONNA FLY! BA BA BA BA BA BA FLY! BA BA BA FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! da da DA.) Wow, that was really drawn out. Sorry. Maybe a little too drawn out and annoying. But it was funny, no?

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha," Ganondorf began laughing. Not again."Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" He stops suddenly and his face turns blue once more as he collapses to the ground, gasping for breath. His faceturned blue andhe nearly blacked out for about the hundreth time."I have GOT to stop doing that," he said and began laughing menacingly (though not as much) as he runs toward the Forest Temple.

"Now I am going to steal the Forest Medallion, and rule um, forest thingys with it, and I will be...KING FOREST! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" He stopped laughing quickly to make sure he would not have to have CPR again, and his face wouldn't turn blue. That had been happening a lot to him lately.

Just then the miniature sized Ganondorf looked up to see what looked like a magical stream of every color. What were those called? Oh yeah, rainbows. He also looked over to see two small kids running over to him with a map. They seemed to be very excited and were looking for something.

"ALRIGHT LEPRECHAUN!" one of the kids yelled down toward him. "WHERE'S IS ARE GOLD?"

The other kid chimed in, "YEAH LEPRECHAUNWHERE IS IS IT?"

"Okay foolish adolescents," Ganondorf began. "For one, I do not know of this 'leprechaun' you speak of. And another thing is you are using improper english and grammar. I would know, because when I was the King of Evil I was also the King of English and Grammar. I was also the King of Laughing Really Hard and Then Collapsing Afterward. Pretty soon I am going to be King of Forest Stuff. But I am not King of Leprechauns. I am King of Saying King of Stuff Too Many Times in A Non Sensical Story. So that would make me King of...FiveReally Cool Things. So, shoo!"

"C'mon Jimmy Jimmyston," one of the kids said. "That weirdo is too small to be a leprechaun, and he smells. There is no way he could ever be a king!"

"My middle name is Jim," said Jimmy. And then the two kids walked away, leaving Ganondorf to have an emotional breakdown.

"THAT IS IS NOT FAIR!" yelled Ganondorf. "OH GREAT NOW I'M DOING IT! I DON'T DESERVE TO BE THE KING OF ENGLISH AND GRAMMAR!" He began crying. He was also weeping.

You're probably now wondering what is happening to the author of this story. He is is using words words two times. He happens happens to be suffering from LATS, which is Lazy Author's Typing Syndrome. Okay, I'm fine fine now. (Oh, I'm good.)

While he was crying (and weeping), a girl with green hair, dressed in green, with green eyes, a green headband, and green boots, walked over. In short, she was completely covered in green clothes.

"Here," she said, and handed him a giant coin. Ganondorf looked closely at it to realize that it was the Forest Medallion of Forest Stuff. And Forest Things.

"Why are you giving me this?" he asked in wonder. Saria was a sage, and she hated Ganondorf.

"Ah, I dunno," Saria replied. She also responded. "Go take over the world or something."

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Ganondorf collapsed and his face turned blue, and the ants rushed him to the hospital again. I ought to start counting how many times this has happened.

**End Chapter Three**

_The chapter is also over. (Ho ho ho, I'm a riot and a half!)_


	4. Chapter Four: Spaghetti Sauce

_Author's Note: This chapter is based on a mission from Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves. It's the one in Episode One where Sly and Bentley go to coffee shops. R&R!_

Ant: Zeldafan422 wishes he was as cool as me.

Ganondorf: No, me! The author owns nothing!

Me: (sighs) Read the chapter..and ignore those two.

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**Chapter Four: Spaghetti Sauce**

After Ganondorf checked out of the hospital, he was off to Death Mountain to get the second medallion. The one of fire,you know? He was hoping he wouldn't have togo into Dodongo's Cavern. Those Dodongos really didn't like him that much. Especially that one time where they ate him..never mind.Unfortunately once he got near Goron City there was a guard standing in front of the door, looking mean and able to stop anyone from coming in.

"Ah man!" Ganondorf said. "How am I supposed to get in there when there's a guard standing right there? He'll squash me for sure and then my plans will be ruined! If only there was some way I could trick the guard into letting me into there...ha! I've got it. I'll force those ants to help me. Unless they join me out of free will. But that would never EVER happen.."

"Hey! Dude!" yelled one of the ants. Ganondorf looked over to see there was a whole ton of ants and a Goron costume. "We've learned that the Goron guards switch duty every now and then, so in order for this to work we all have to get inside the costume and trick the guard to leave so we can stand watch while one of us runs in and steals the medallion of fire! You know, the fire one."

"Why are you helping me?" Ganondorf inquired curiously. Don't question it Ganondorf, just accept it. Things like this are too lucky to just pass along.

"Because," replied one of the ants. "If our mission is successful and you are in charge of Hyrule, we wanna slice of the pie! Like, be ruler over whatever town we want!"

"Deal!" said Ganondorf, although he was planning to betray them in theend. Fools."Let's go!" They all jumped inside of the costume and awkwardly stumbled over to the guard.

"Hey you!" the Goron yelled. "What's the password we use when it's the twenty-third of June and we're all outside sipping tea?" Wow. Really random.

"Uhhhh..." Ganondorf stammered from inside the suit. "Chicken liverworst?" He prepared to get kicked out of Death Mountain, because there was no way that was correct.

"Correct!" yelled the Goron. "Sorry, you can never be too careful and I wanted to make sure you weren't an outsider. Well, I gotta go! My aunt is making her special spaghetti tonight and it's SOOO delicious!"

"Guess you really like her cooking, eh?" Ganondorf said uncaring about whatever response he got.

"Oh man, it's unbelievable! I wanna be buried in dat sauce! I'M COMIN' AUNTY!" The fat Goron ran off at incredible speeds, drooling like a baby. Woah, he moved really fast for a fat guy.

One of the ants spoke up from inside the Goron costume. "What did he say?"

"Said he wanted to be buried in his mom's pasta sauce," Ganondorf replied, like that guy was the craziest guy in the world. And he probably was.

"That's um..that's strange." the ant replied. "Okay, I'm going back inside for the medallion!" He jumped out of the costume and snuck inside Goron City. He was very careful, because if one of the Gorons noticed him, they would probably step on him. Or eat him. Or make him go to the dentist.

Ganondorf's voice came inside the speaker. "I've never seen somebody so obsessed with spaghetti sauce. Could it really be that good? We could be missing out on like, a whole universe of flavors!" The ant ignored him and snuck into Darunia's room to find him dancing. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the medallion. He then ran outside to meet up with Ganondorf, and held out the medallion.

"Could sauce really have that effect on people?" the tiny Gerudo was saying.

"ENOUGH WITH THE SAUCE!" the ant yelled, very annoyed with Ganondorf's food obsession.

"Okay, let's get moving to Zora's Domain," Ganondorf replied, all buisness.

"Now you're talking sense!" the ant responded, and they began to walk.

"And then we eat."

**End Chapter Four**

_Okay, maybe it was a little TOO much like Sly 3, but it is funny, no? R&R!_


	5. Chapter Five: Chicken Burritos

Jim: I work at Taco Bell.

Zeldafan422: I own nothing.

Jim: But he does like Taco Bell.

Zeldafan422: Yep.

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**Chapter Five: Jim, Chicken Burritoes, an Opera Solo, and More!**

"C'mon you stupid ant," Ganondorf complained angrily. "We need to make it to...uh where are we going again?"

"Zora's Domain, you idiot!" the ant yelled.

"Yeah," said Ganondorf. "We need to be there by nightfall!" He kicked the ant in the behind in attempts to make him go faster.

"Why do we have to be there by nightfall?" the ant asked impatiently, while rubbing his hindquarters.

"..." Ganondorf opened his mouth for words, but none came out. "Well...we need to be there by night because...just keep moving and stop asking stupid questions!"

Once they had snuck out of Kakariko Village they didn't have much longer to go before they made it to Zora's Domain.

"Hey ant," Ganondorf said. "What's your name anyway?"

"Well, my friends call me Ernesto Chicken Burrito, but you can call me Ant."

"Why do your friends-"

"Don't ask," Ant replied quickly. "There are some things in this world that are better left unsaid." Ganondorf was about to inquire farther, but changed his mind. Things that involved chicken burritos usually had a rough outcome...'

_

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__LIEK OMG: A FLASHBACK _

Ganondorf was normal size walking into Taco Bell, and was in a cheery mood because this was around the time where he took over Hyrule.  
"Yeah pal, I'll have two chicken burritos," he said. "Make them extra juicy."  
The register man nodded nervously. If you made it the way Lord Ganon wanted, he would give you a huge tip. If not, well let's just say some internal organs would be rearranged.  
Two minutes later, the register dude (Jim) walked over to the table with Ganondorf's order. Ganondorf opened the tacos up...and one of them came to life! It jumped up from the table and knocked him to the ground.

LIEK OMG: END FLASHBACK

Why was the register guy named Jim? How can a burrito jump? Why did Ganondorf order it extra juicy? I don't know. ANYWAY, while Ganondorf was revisiting his flashback, he and Ant had been walking for a long time and had finally reached the enormous waterfall of Zora's Domain.

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"Oh great," complained Ganondorf. "How do we get in?"

"Don't worry pal," said Ant. "I have prepared a special exercise for this." Ant dropped his bags and began dancing around in a circle, chanting made up words.

After his dance was over, it started raining.

"Wow Einstein," Ganondorf said angrily. "You've appealed to the rain gods, congrats!" Ant frowned and muttered something about being unappreciated.

"THIS is how you do it," said Ganondorf. "Ahem. LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA LA LA LA LA LA LA." Ant fell to the ground clutching is ears in pain. "LA LA LA LAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Don't die from lack of oxygen again," said Ant, but then his jaw dropped in amazement.

The waterfall was opening. They had made it to Zora's Domain.

_Inside_

"OH MY GOSH! OH. MY. GOSH." said Ant.

"What? What? Did something happen?" Ganondorf was frantically waving his arms in Ant's face for the reason that he was staring at something. "Did something go wrong?"

"Plaaaaasmaaaa screeeeeen," Ant drooled as he pointed inside the Zora's Domain shop. Ganondorf peered inside to see a GIGANTIC plasma screen TV with huge speakers, surround sound, combo DVD/mircowave/poprcorn maker, mp3 player, Apple iPod, email and internet access-

"IS THERE ANYTHING THIS STUPID THING CAN'T DO?" Ganondorf screamed in frustration because Ant could not take his eyes off it.

"Well," said a guy from the Zora Geek Squad. "It does your laundry, does your chores, cleans your room, talks, and has every single channel known to man, and several known to Gorons! There's also-"

"Oh just forget it!" Ganondorf said and grabbed Ant by the collar, walking out of the shop.

And shook his head and snapped out of the multi media plasma screen trance. "So, where do they keep that spiritual stone?"

"Ha, the last time I came to this place they kept it inside a stupid fish," Ganondorf complained. "So I..."

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_FLASHBACK _

Ganondorf is his normal height and is standing in front of a very fat Zora, who is eight hundred years old. (Zora King from OOT)

_"Hey Kingy!" said Ganondorf. "I'm-a give you twenty seconds, to move your fat BLEEP off that stupid throne, and let that fish give me that Water Stone."_

_"Well for one it's a whale-"_

_"20. 19. 18."_

_"Okay, okay!" yelled the Zora King. He began moving to the side, one milliliter at a time. "Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep."_

_"8. 7. 6. 5."_

_"Hang on I'm almost done!" the King said nervously. "Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep."_

_"3. 2. 1. Time's up chubzilla!" Ganondrof kicked the old Zora in his vitals and ran off to Jabu Jabu._

_"You kids!" King Zora said, and fainted._

_Ganondorf ran up to Jabu Jabu. "I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE WATER STONE. WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?"_

_"Mweep."_

_END FLASHBACK

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_

"And that's why I never got that stone," the Gerudo concluded.

"Hmm," said Ant. "How's about we feed him fish?"

"I never thought of that," said Ganondorf, and pulled a week old salmon out of his pocket. "Let's go!"

**End Chapter Five**

_This chapter was long and hopefully funny! w00t! Oh, and Jim will make a comeback in a future chapter. I will give no hints! R&R!_


	6. Chapter Six: King of Evil and a Fairy

_Ivan: HEY! LOOK LISTEN! HEY HEY HEY!_

_Ganondorf: Silence! I pwn you fool._

_Ivan: But the author pwns nothing Legend of Zelda related. Except me, but I'm not exactly LOZ related._

_Ganondorf: Yep.

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_

**Chapter Six: The King of Evil and a Fairy Become the Best of Friends**

Ganondorf and Ant fed Jabu-Jabu the fish and were sucked inside of the whale.

"Goodness!" Ganondorf said. "Now I have all this filth on me!"

"You look cleaner than you usually do," the ant muttered under his breath.

"OH GREAT, NOW WHAT DO WE DO!" said Ganondorf. "THE STUPID DOOR THING IN FRONT OF US IS LOCKED. HOW CAN THERE BE DOORS INSIDE OF A WHALE?"

Shigeru Miyamoto: Use your imagination.

"ALRIGHT SO THERE'S A DOOR," Ganondorf said angrily, and as imaginative as he could be. "But how the heck do we get in there? It's times like this where I actually wish we had a stupid fairy like Link. Although she does say 'hey' a little too much."

"Why?" asked the ant.

"When I took over the world," Ganondorf said. "That stupid Link found a fairy and the fairy was givin' him all the answers on how to defeat me."

"Ohh.." said the ant. "Well there's gotta be a fairy in here. It IS a whale after all."

"That makes absolutely no sense, but I will try to use this new found 'imagination'," Ganondorf said, and concentrated as hard as he could on fairies.

Pretty soon, a purple fairy named Ivan (Navi spelled backwards. Sorry, I don't have the imagination of Ganondorf." flew up to him.

"Hey! Look! Listen!" said the fairy. Ohhh..boy. "I am Navi's opposite, and I will help you on your quest to rule the world again."

"Yay!" said the King of Evil. Who heard of an evil king saying 'Yay!'? Never mind. "Now I don't need this stupid ant anymore."

"YOU'LL BE SORRY GANONDORF DRAGMIRE!" said the ant, as he ran out of the whale. And he would be sorry. But that is another chapter.

"Alright," said Ganondorf. "What do we do now? I need to find a way to open that door."

"Shoot the thing up there with your slingshot," said Ivan.

"Umm..." said Ganondorf nervously. "I don't have a slingshot."

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET IT IN THE GREAT DEKU TREE!" screamed Ivan.

"I killed that stupid thing," said Ganondorf. "So it's too late now."

"Fine, then," said Ivan. "You're just going to have to find some other way."

"I know!" said Ganondorf. "I'll throw YOU at it!"

"Wait no!" Ivan yelled as Ganondorf grabbed him. "I didn't mean-"

Too late. Ganondorf chucked Ivan as hard as he could at the thing. Sure enough, it worked, and the door opened.

"HA!" Ganondorf laughed, triumphant. "I'm a genius! Let's go!"

"I have a splitting headache.." moaned Ivan, but still followed Ganondorf.

In the next room, they found a bunch of jellyfish, anda bunch of holes. Ganondorf ran up to the jellyfish and tried to punch one of them.

"No!" Ivan shouted. "You idiot!"

Once again, too late. Ganondorf punched the jelly fish as hard as he could and began to wail loudly. He sat down on the ground and started crying for his mom.

"We really have to work on our communication," Ivan said, getting really impatient.

"Fine," Ganondorf said. "Which way do we go now?"

There were three doors.

"Go through the one on the left, because we need the boomerang," Ivan told him. "We need the boomerang so that you can attack jellyfish, and do neat stuff. And THEN, you won't have to throw ME at all those things."

"Okay," Ganondorf said. "Let's-a go!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait," Ivan said really fast. "Slow down there. Only Mario can say 'Let's-a go' or anything with -a."

"Awww man," Ganondorf complained. "That sucks."

"Tell me about it," Ivan said sarcastically. "Just follow me." Ivan flew through the door and Ganondorf followed, still upset that he couldn't do Mario impressions.

Once they walked through a few more doors. They came across a ton of enemies.

Ganondorf shrieked like a little girl. "AHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

Ivan rolled his eyes and pulled out a machine gun. He shot up all the enemies. Once that over, a treasure chest appeared. Ganondorf ran up to it and opened it enthusiastically like a small child would open a birthday present.

"Crap," Ganondorf complained. "It's just a stupid boomerang!"

"This 'stupid' boomerang," Ivan began, "is going to get us that Spiritual Stone."

Okay, so they did a bunch of dungeoun stuff. You know, solve puzzles, use the boomerang, open treasure chests, until they come up to this giant octopus that started chasing Ganondorf.

"AAHHH!" Ganondorf screamed as he tried to run away from it. "IT'S CHASING ME! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!"

"I can't!" screamed Ivan. "Try to attack it from behind!"

Ganondorf put on a burst of speed and ran around the circle as fast as he could. Once he caught up with the crazed octopus, he prepared to attack it.

But it turned around.

They collided into each other and then there was a huge explosion.

"GANONDORF! GANONDORF!" Ivan screamed. "Are you okay!"

The smoke cleared, and Ganondorf was lying on the ground covered with scorch marks.

"Well I beat it," coughed Ganondorf. "And I've got a ton of third degree-burns, but yeah I'm okay."

"Cut the sarcasm," Ivan said dryly. "Now let's go fight the boss and get out of here."

The walked and solved a lot more puzzles and all that dungeon goodness, and they finally got to the boss.

"Oh man!" Ganondorf complained loudly. "Why did I have to put all these enemies, bosses, and traps in here?"

"I don't know," Ivan said sourly. "But then again, no one can comprehend your level of stupidity."

"Shut it, and tell me how to beat the boss!" Ganondorf commanded the fairy angrily.

"Fine," Ivan said. "You could just pull out your paintball gun and shoot it."

"Worth a shot," Ganondorf replied, and pulled it down. "EAT PAINTBALLS SUCKA!" he screamed as he fired the gun multiple times.

Since this is a stupid comedy where anything and everything can happen, it worked. The paintballs hit Barinade directly, and he exploded into a million pieces. A blue warp thing opened up and the Spiritual Stone of Water appeared.

Ganondorf ran over and picked it up. "Yay!" he shouted. "The magical text!"

_Good job Ganondorf. You are now the master of water. Hey, are you still reading this?_

"Woo-hoo!" Ganondorf said, and started dancing comically. "To the Temple of Time!"

**End Chapter Six**


	7. Chapter Seven: The Temple of Time

**Chapter Seven: The Temple of Time**

Ganondorf and Ivan began to run (and fly!)over toward Hyrule Castle Town. It began to pour rain and a huge storm was brewing up in the sky.

"Oh GREAT!" Ganondorf screamed angrily. "The drawbridge is SHUT! Now we're going to be stuck out here all night!"

"Not necessarily," Ivan commented dryly. "It seems to be opening up."

"Shut up," Ganondorf commanded him, and was about to head in until he saw a horse with two people coming out really fast.

It was Impa with Zelda hanging onto her from the back. Impa gave him the finger, and Zelda tossed a smal blue object into the moat. Next, another figure on horseback was storming out on a large and scary black horse.

"HEY!" Ganondorf yelled. "That's MY large and scary black horse!"

Ganondorf looked to see who it was on the horse, and to his shock it was his arch nemesis Link.

"Hahahahaha," Link laughed evilly for a long time, although not to the point of oxygen loss. "FOOL! Tell me which way Princess Zelda went!"

"Never!" Ganondorf insisted. "I won't ever tell you! Not an even for a chocolate chip cookie!"

"What about TWO chocolate chip cookies?" Link asked as he pulled out two delicious and hot cookies.

"That way," Ganondorf answered, and grabbed the cookies. "See ya."

"Stupid kid," Link said, and rode off. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I am NOT a stupid kid! I'm just really small," Ganondorf responded sadly.

"Go to the river you idiot," Ivan told him. "Zelda through something in there."

"Stew-pid Ivan," began the King of English and Grammar. "It's 'threw', not 'through'."

"You can shut up now Ganondorf," Ivan commanded, and Ganondorf put on a sad face and went over to the river. He jumped in and began swimming.

"AHH!" he yelled. "It's way too big! It's like, three times larger than me! There's no way I can play it."

"Grrr.." Ivan moaned and zapped it down with his fairy powers so it could be small enough for Ganondorf to play.

"YES! WOO-HOO! YIPPEE!" Ganondorf picked up the Ocarina and got out of the water and began cheering. "It's the Ocarina of Time!"

"Uh-huh," Ivan said. "Now let's go into the Temple of Time now that we have all the Spiritual Stones."

"Works for me," Ganondorf replied. "After all I am the King of Evil, English, Grammar, Forest Stuff, Fire Stuff, and Water Stuff. And now, TIME stuff!"

"Whatever," Ivan commented dryly. "Let's just go."

Ganondorf ran into the bustling market of Hyrule and ran towards the Temple of Time. He made sure not to step too close to anyone or else he might have gotten stepped on. Finally, he made it to the entrance.

"Ughh.." he groaned. "Large double doors." He ran up and pushed with all of his might. But the doors wouldn't open.

Ganondorf pulled out a bomb and threw it. He ran away and ducked under a rock. It exploded loudly and to this day there are no doors to the Temple of Time, or in the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

"Okay," Ganondorf began. "I have to put the Spiritual Stones in, right?"

"Uh-huh," Ivan nodded.

Ganondorf walked over and pulled all of the stones out of his pouch. He struggled with carrying them and was having a hard time keeping them in his arms. The janitor was mopping the floor, and forgot to put up a Wet Floor sign. Ganondorf slipped, and the stones shattered.

Ivan and Ganondorf just stood there for a few moments, absolutely dumbstruck.

"I cannot believe it," Ivan said. "You've screwed the whole world."

"I'M SORRY!" Ganondorf screamed and began crying. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO! IT'S THE JANITOR'S FAULT!"

Ivan sighed loudly. "I suppose I'll have to use the machine gun again." He shot open the secret passage which led to the Master Sword.

"YAY!" Ganondorf exclaimed and ran into the room. Suddenly Link ran up and snatched the Triforce.

"Hahahaha!" Link laughed maniacally, and began to glow. "You've done two things for me! You've destroyed the Spiritual Stones, and you've gotten me the Triforce! Thanks, shrimp!"

"No!" Ganondorf shouted and unsheathed the Master Sword. "I'll stop you!" He charged at Link fiercely with the sword but was immediately hit with a sleep dart.

* * *

"Where am I?" he said dizzily as he stood up. "What happened?" 

"You've been sleeping for seven years," Ivan informed him. "I've been so dang bored just watching you drool for over half a decade."

"SEVEN YEARS!" Ganondorf began to panic. "Get me a mirror! Is my hair turning gray?"

"No," Ivan scoffed. "Geez, the whole world is in peril, and you're more concerned about your hair color."

"What the heck are you even talking about?" Ganondorf asked in a Napoleon Dynamite voice.

"Link has conquered Hyrule," Ivan said dryly. "I was right. You've screwed the world."

"Woo-hoo!" Ganondorf cheered loudly. "I say we celebrate with..Bud Light!"

"No.." Ivan replied. "I have a drinking problem...there have been, shall we say, incidents in the past."

"Whatever," he laughed. "More for me!"

**End Chapter Seven**


	8. Chapter Eight: Sacred Forest Meadow!

Where was the disclaimer in Chapter Seven, you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask, I don't know. Anyway, I've put in the disclaimer enough, so I don't think I really need it anymore..

You didn't think I would ever update did you? Ha, I did. Whatever..just read.

**Chapter Eight: Sacred Forest Meadow or Bust!**

"Ughh.." Ganondorf moaned and slowly stood up. "What happened last night?"

"You got drunk and blacked out," Ivan informed him.

"Hehe.." Ganondorf laughed to himself and dazily walked out the Temple of Time.

"I've been waiting for you..Hero of Time."

"What?" Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. "I think you've gotten me mixed up with somebody else...that would be Link."

"No," replied the stranger. "That would be you. Link is the King of Evil, English and Grammar, Forest Stuff, Fire Stuff, and Water Stuff. My name is Sheik."

"What?" Ganondorf repeated. "HE TOOK MY TITLES!"

"And what's worse," Sheik continued, pacing back and forth, "is that he's completely screwed the world up, and claimed himself ruler over everything."

"WHAT?" Ganondorf said for the third time. "If anyone's going to SCREW Hyrule, it's gonna be ME!"

"Yeah!" Ivan chimed in. "Let's go stop him, and then after that, YOU can take over the world."

"Yeah!" Ganondorf unsheathed the Master Sword. "I must defeat Link and regain my titles!"

* * *

"Ivan.." Ganondorf was sweating. "Where the heck are you taking me?" 

"Uhh.." Ivan said. "Kakariko!"

"Then why have we circled around Lon Lon Ranch like five hundred times?" Ganondorf asked, angrily.

"Uhhh.." Ivan repeated. "I dunno."

"GAH!" Ganondorf screamed. "Foolish fairy! Now we have to turn around and go all the way there!"

"Whatever dude," Ivan replied, as they headed toward Kakariko Village. As soon as they got there, they saw two very strange people dancing under a tree.

"Oh great," Ganondorf sighed. "Tree huggers..run Ivan!" And with that they sprinted off to the graveyard. Once they entered, it suddenly started raining.

"Rain! No rain! Rain! No rain!" Ganondorf was jumping in and out of the graveyard. He had invented his own little game. Ivan rolled his eyes, and began to look around for Dampe's grave.

"How do you know where to go and what to do?" Ganondorf gaped, finished with his game.

"Well, Link's already done all this right?" Ivan began to explain. "So all WE have to do is do what HE did. We should be able to have it a lot easier than he did. Plus we can always consult the Official Nintendo Power Strategy Guide!"

"Oh yeah," Ganondorf smiled, as they came upon Dampe's grave. Ganondorf, being the brute he is, smashed in open with a very small energy punch, and they went in.

"Cooool," Ganonodorf stared in at all of the torches, when the old fat guy suddenly came up.

"'Ello there, young 'un," Dampe greeted, and then chugged down a ton of beer. "Beatme in a raceand you'll get my treasure."

"Hahaha!" Ganondorf laughed. "This is gonna be a piece of-" Dampe suddenly took of at full speeds. Ganondorf started running as fast as he could. He was pretty speedy for a litle guy, but being two inches tall, his legs were extrememly short.

"Oh no!" Ganondorf groaned. "There's no way we'll ever catch up to him!"

"I've got a plan!" Ivan exclaimed, as the camera zoomed in on him dramatically. The little fairy flew up to Dampe and tossed a beer onto the ground in front of him.

"YAY!" Dampe stopped and bent over to pick up the beer bottle. He opened it and began to drink it; this gave the former King of Evil time to make it to the finish line.

"Ha!" Ganondorf said. "I win! Fork over the hookshot, fatty!"

"Hooligans! Rascals!" Dampe shouted at Ivan and Ganondorf. "Tempting me with alcohol like that! Tsk, tsk! What am I going to do with you two?"

Ganondorf tossed him another beer. "Why, give us the hookshot of course!"

"Hookshot? Oh yes of course.." Dampe said, and dropped it to the ground while floating away with the beer.

"Nice one Ganondorf!" Ivan complimented, as Ganondorf struggled to pick up the huge hookshot. It's a shame that Ganondorf is too small to truly appreciate the coolest weapon EVER. Well, pretty cool.

"It's...HEAVY!" Ganondorf complained, as he dragged it over to Ivan. "How am I supposed to carry this freakin' thing?"

"The Shrink Ray!" Ivan exclaimed, as he pulled out his secret invention, and zapped the hookshot. It shrunk down small enough for Ganondorf to stick in his...uh...backpack? No...inventory! Yes, that's it. He put it into his inventory as they headed out of Dampe's grave.

"Hey, Ivan," Ganondorf started, thinking deeply. "If you could make a shrink ray...well then maybe you could make something that would make me back to my normal size! Right?"

"Weeell..I dunno," Ivan comtemplated. "I don't normally take requests..."

"IVAN!" Ganondorf screamed.

"Beg," Ivan said coldly. Ganondorf got onto the ground on his knees and groveled before the fairy, who was grinning widely.

"I guess I could work on it when we have spare time," Ivan agreed. "But there's no telling how long it will take to finish.."

"I DON'T CARE!" Ganondorf shouted, as he leaped to his feet. "Anything to change me back!" He started doing a Charlie Brown dance in victory, and exclaimed things like, 'Go Ganon!' and 'Woo-hoo!' and, well you get the idea.

"Well, we better get moving," Ivan said promptly, desperate to stop Ganondorf from doing the dance. They headed out of the exit, to find themselves inside the windmill.

"GAH!" Ganondorf shrieked as he jumped into Ivan's...arms? Yeah, he has arms. INVISIBLE arms. "I'm terrified of heights."

Ivan roughly shoved Ganondorf off the platform as he toppled to the ground right in front of the weird guy who plays the Song of Storms.

"Oof!" Ganondorf moaned in pain as he got up from the ground. "Oww.."

"'ELLO!" the windmill guy shouted. "HEY! YOU'RE THAT PIPSQUEAK WHO SCREWED THE WINDMILL!"

"What? No that was Link and he-" Ganondorf started, until he realized that the man was raising his foot into the air. "Wait! You're not going to...AHH!" He sprinted out of the way at the last second before the crazy guy brought his foot down onto the ground.

"Ivan! C'mon!" Ganondorf yelled, as they both ran out of the windmill.

"Hooligans! Rascals!" came the faint screaming of the windmill guy.

"Why does everyone keep calling us that?" Ganondorf asked.

"I dunno," Ivan answered. "Weird, huh."

"Well, where do we go now?" Ganondorf inquired.

"Uhh.." Ivan pulled out the player's guide. "We're supposed to go to the Lost Woods, and then the Sacred Forest Meadow."

"Sweet!" Ganondorf exclaimed, and pointed a finger in the direction of Kokiri Forest. "Sacred Forest Meadow or bust!"

**End Chapter Eight**

Pretty short chapter..but at least I updated! Woo-hoo!

Ivan: Cheapstake.

Shut up. Thanks for reading...a review wouldn't hurt either!


	9. Chapter Nine: Snowball Fights

Only one new review...? Anyway...I intend to finish the story in less than or exactly twenty chapters. Just thought you might like to know.

**Chapter Nine: Snowball Fights**

"Ahh.." Ganondorf said, as they entered Kokiri Forest. "I actually kind of like this place...it's always so peaceful.."

Suddenly, giant Deku Babas came up fromout of the ground and began attacking him.

"Yeah, real peaceful," Ivan said sarcastically.

"YOU can shut up!" Ganondorf screamed, as he attempted to fight off the large enemies. "I shall kill all of these!" One of them opened its mouth wide, and nearly ate him. "AHHHHHH!" he screamed, as he and Ivan ran off to the Lost Woods.

"I loveTHIS place too!" Ganondorf exclaimed, as Ivan rolled his eyes once again. "What? It's got a catchytheme song! Do do do, do do do, do do do DO do do. C'mon, Ivan, give me a beat!"

"You've got to be kidding," Ivan said.

"In the Lost Woods,goin' for the goods,this is my cool hometown, when Ganon is around," Ganondorf rapped, as Ivan held his hands over his ears.

Suddenly, they came up to a very annoying Kokiri named Mido. "Sup dudes?" he said, while snacking on some potato chips. "Oh, you can't pass and all that stuff."

"Ah man.." Ganondorf put his head down. "LOOK OVER THERE!" Ganondorf ran under his legs and eventually reached the Sacred Forest Meadow.

It was there when Ivan smacked himself in the head. "We are IDIOTS!"

"What? Why?"

"We already have the Forest Medallion..remember?" Ivan told him. "Saria gave it to us...we didn't get the Spiritual Stones, or all the medallions!"

"So...uh..what exactly DID we get?" Ganondorf asked stupidly.

Ivan went back and read the first eight chapters. "The Forest and Fire medallions, and the Spiritual Stone of Water. So, two medallions, and one stone."

"Wait, one stone?" Ganondorf did a double take. "Then how in the heck did we get in the Temple of Time?"

"No idea," Ivan replied, "but we're not supposed to question this kind of stuff. So I guess we don't need to be here, we can just move along to..." The fairy quickly flipped through the player's guide. "The Ice Cavern! That's where we need to go."

"To the Ice Cavern!"

"Uh..we need to go to Zora's Domain first..."

"To Zora's Domain! THEN the Ice Cavern!" Ivan rolled his eyes once more.

* * *

"Ahh! Everything's frozen over...cool!" Ganondorf pulled out a pair of ice skates and began skating around and spinning. 

"Uhh..did you forget why we were here?" Ivan sighed.

"Actually, yes!" was Ganondorf's answer. "Refresh me."

Ivan shook his head sadly. "We have the Light, Forest, and Fire medallions. NOW we have to get the Medallion of Water. Savvy?"

"HEY! Only Johnny Depp is allowed to say that!"

"Sorry."

After they walked to the top of Zora's Domain, they were surprised to see that King Zora was frozen completely. "OH NO!" Ganondorf shouted. "All the Zoras are dead and/or frozen!"

"Calm down," Ivan said. "We can go get some blue fire in the Ice Cavern. Let's go."

So they pushed the fat, frozen Zora out of the way, and went through the cave to see...

Ice. More Ice.

"Haha!" Ganondorf laughed. "Jabu-Jabu is DEAD! Haha!" He picked up a snowball and threw it at Ivan for the heck of it. Then they had a snowball fight lasting for two hours, until they remembered they were supposed to go in the Ice Cavern.

"C'mon, Ganondorf!" Ivan called, as they hopped across the ice. "Here we are." They entered the cave.

It was quiet...until the loud music started and Ganondorf's eardrums nearly burst.

"AHH!" Ganondorf screamed and began running around like a moron.

"Stop!" Ivan insisted. "Did you bring a bottle?"

"Uhh..." Ganondorf searched his pockets. "GOT ONE!" It slipped out of his hands and shattered on the ground. "Uh oh..."

"Ganondorf, Ganondorf...Ganondorf," Ivan shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I have another bottle!"

"That's not the point. You're destroying materials that we could need for later on."

"I have two EXTRA bottles!" Ganondorf screamed.

"Fine," Ivan said. "Let's go."

"Blue fire, blue fire, blue fire," Ganondorf repeated over and over again to himself so that he wouldn't forget. "Blue fire, blue fire, SNOWBALL FIGHT!"

"What?" Ivan was immediately pummeled by about seven hundred snowballs before he could retaliate. "If it's a fight you want, IT'S A FIGHT YOU'LL GET!" Ivan pulled out his machine gun.

"No, Ivan!" Ganondorf protested. "Only non-lethal weapons."

"But then I can't use anything I have!" Ivan complained.

"Deal with it," Ganondorf hurled a snowball right in his face.

"STOP!" Ivan shouted at the top of his lungs. "Did you forget why we were here?"

"Actually, yes."

"Dejavu," Ivan sighed. "We need to get blue fire and defrost that one fat Zora guy, and get the Iron Boots..and all that other fun stuff.

"Excellent!" Ganondorf shouted.

So they ran through the Ice Cavern, fighting enemies with the Master Sword, although it was very hard for puny Ganondorf to carry it. Whenever they saw blue fire, Ivan made sure to remind Ganondorf to catch it in a bottle. They finally reached a room with multiple blocks.

"AW I HATE THIS PUZZLE!" Ganondorf shouted.

"But we haven't even started it yet," Ivan pointed out.

"But I'm sure I'm going to hate it!"

Ivan rolled his eyes, and pushed all of the blocks to where they were supposed to go.

"Thanks Ivan," Ganondorf said gratefully, then the entered the next room. A Wolfos jumped out of the darkness and charged at Ganondorf, as the Gerudo screamed like a little girl.

"I'M GONNA DIE!" he yelled, but then felt a lump in his pocket. He reached in and pulled out...the Sorcerer's Stone.

"Ganondorf," Dumbledore said. "Thou who does not want the stone for personal gain shalt have thy stone."

"Whatever," Ganondorf chucked the Sorcerer's Stone at the Wolfos, and it fell to the ground, dead.

"You did it, Ganondorf!" Ivan cheered. "Without my help! That's probably the first and last time."

"Thanks, Ivan...HEY!"

They began jumping up and down like they were at the Cleveland Dog Pound.

While they werecheering, there suddenlywas a huge puff of smoke, and it cleared to reveal...

**End Chapter Nine**

Haha! Cliffhanger! Review, please. And a Harry Potter reference..hehe.


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